An unplanned hiatus from blogging. An incredibly hard few weeks, made harder still by so many changes happening all at once, and here I am, tentatively making my comeback. I am quite honestly beyond exhausted emotionally. But I look at my darling son merrily hitting new milestones day by day, and his zest for life and free spirit remind me that I’m doing ok – I’m showing up everyday with renewed zeal to make his childhood a happy and thriving one. So I hold on.
Hold on. Don’t lose hope. Keep going. Hold on, hold on.
Change is hard, change is painful, change comes with uncertainty, and a whole lot fear. Fear of failure, of struggle, of not knowing if you’re strong enough to survive the tides. Not again, not this time.
So much work is going on in the background for launching this brand. The launch collection has been specked out and is now being designed. A textile print designer has been commissioned to come up with the most darling of fabrics for our launch. I have shortlisted manufactures whose values align with our brand to approach. Things are feeling tentatively hopeful.
Work, with its many glorious challenges, continues to make me ask myself questions about the future, and I have no answers to any of them. How many of us feel this way about life most days? I must remember not to put myself under too much pressure to have things “figured out” at all times.
It’s also been an intense few weeks of researching schools for the darling son. Chief of the requirements for a school is him fitting in and settling well. It might seem a bit early to worry about this sort of thing for someone who’s still in diapers. But the more I research the more I realise I’m quite late to the game. The choice of primary school affects which area I buy a house in, and how quickly that can happen so I can have his name on a waiting list. And then there’s the worry about which secondary school the primary feeds it’s pupils into, and where that secondary’s graduates then land up. Is it Oxbridge or a Russell Group university? All this to consider, and whether it’s better to go private. A house and private education? Does this all sound a little ridiculous? Only if you’re not a parent will you think that.
So you see emotionally it’s been a bit of a rollercoaster. I have the misfortune of being one of those self-reliant people who don’t know how to ask for help. That doesn’t make light of an already trying time.
However here I am, tentatively making a comeback. Continuing to work on the launch, and holding on. Despite there being no guarantees for success. My job is just to hold on, moment by moment.
I hope you’ll hold on too if you’re feeling a little overwhelmed.
With love, Kate. x